It's probably been obvious I am not at my most content at the moment. One of the things I'm now learning that I actually learnt over the last year is how to admit when thats the case and to do practical things to cope with it, rather than living in denial. Part of this is to not try and be a superman and to ask for and accept help or do things to make it easier on myself.
So this weekend I asked if I could go down to see my parents and was really pleased that they were happy to accept the boy and I down there on such short notice. The boy was really pleased to be going down to see them as he wasn't expect to get down there til after Christmas, so I picked him up nice and early, about 8.30 on Sat morning. The boy lives just over an hours drive in the wrong direction to my parents so I was pleased he was ready and raring to go. He was in a wonderful mood, the hour and a quarter drive down to the coast went by so fast as we just chatted and gossiped and generally talked about nothing. He was playing and beeping away on his Tamagotchi as we went down, happily telling me how healthy it was or that he had just given it another injection or beaten it (that's my boy ;-) ), planning games out loud, talking about his week, talking about Christmas coming, scheming with me about Christmas presents we were going to buy.
When we got to my parents he couldn't believe it, he thought it had only been a few minutes. Time really does fly by with those you love.
It was great to see my parents. I'd started to relax as soon as I had the boy in the car and being around the folks, the normality of it, the ease we fall into the old ways, just the comfort of it. It was wonderful and just what i needed. As soon as I got there I knew i'd done the right thing. We got there nice and early, and apart from nearly giving Mum a heart attack as she wasn't expecting us there, it was great. We chatted and played for a bit. The boy sat down and wrote in every single one of the Christmas cards I needed him to write. He didn't complain once! He just looked at each card, asked who it was for and why I had bought that particular card for them and wrote in it, giving appropriate kisses and hearts depending on who it was. I love he knows and loves my friends even the ones online. I am so proud of his reading and writing, he read the insides of each card. He has become so patient, something I would never have believed with that flitterbrain.
I went out for a few hours after lunch (more of that later). This was something I used to feel really guilty about, but part of that learning experience. If I want to be the kind of Dad and friend I want to be, I need to be willing to take time for myself. He was happy playing camps in the lounge with the grandparents around and about and he had the choice, but didn't want to come with me. That was fair enough, he was a little tired and just wanted to play, so I felt happy with letting him get on with it. We sat and chatted and played in the evening later. He looked at all the Christmas presents I had bought and was over-the-moon I had found him an Advent Candle to burn at this house. I had a little chuckle to myself as the lil sod started to get grumpy and argumentative as the evening went on - everything I said about X Factor he just HAD to disagree with. He is very predictable. This is when you are glad you've given yourself the time for yourself, so you can just be patient and firm but not get mad back and just deal with it til the lil darling gets to bed.
Today he was in a lovely mood. He chatted and played and then he and I went to go feed the ducks. After the heavy rainstorms over night it was one of those glorious bright mornings, so we looked around to see how swollen the river was, going for a little walk. He actually ASKED if we could carry on walking as he wanted to go walk with me today, after not wanting to yesterday. We walked, up as far as the pet shop by all the super-stores and spent a happy 20mins browsing and choosing dog-christmas presents for my best friends beagle (I now have a Christmas Stocking, pig ears and Dog Christmas card to go into the pile to post up). I was pretty chuffed again with how far we walked, we must have been gone an hour - so we stopped off at a little tea room just around the corner from my parents so he could have a milkshake and i could have a coffee to warm.
Mmmmmm just perfect. I am NOT surprised he slept the whole journey home!
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