Decisions

Its an interesting paradox that the more that goes on in life that I have to write about, the less time and inclination there is to do it. I want to though, it does help to see this record of my life behind me so I can see where I have been, how much has changed. Its reassuring and challenging in its own ways. A reminder never to keep still. Change. I never appreciated quite before how much we are always in a constant state of flux. The natural order is movement. So long sitting in one place in supposed comfort made that seem scary, now its more exciting.

Friday. The day of rush. I had to get out of work early in order to get the train home, get changed into my suit and off to the interview. On the train I had a phonecall from one of the agencies, the bad telephone interview. Apparently it wasnt as bad as I thought it was and they wanted to see me the following week. This was such a big boost for me and I went into the evenings interview fairly confidently.

It went well. The technical questions were pretty easy, the management questions I found useful as a learning experience for the future. The job, interesting but not really something that grabbed me. Something I could do if I needed work, but not much more.

From there I went to my ex's to stay over and to see the boy open his presents. It was wonderful seeing his little face as he finally got the Nintendo DS he has been waiting for for so long! We had a good evening playing with it and setting up his Nintendogs and playing before bed. His little face was just a picture of delight. My parents (at my suggestion) had bought him glass tiles to make mosaics which made a good contrast from the computer game.

Sat morning my ex was a bit grumpy so I just kept quiet til I could get time to go. Well quiet and chat quietly via my phone to Mistress to keep my temper calm while the boy was getting ready. Isn't technology great? The most wonderful morning then with the boy and one of his 8 year old girlfriends. We went bowling and then pizza. This is the first time I've got to see him with one of his new friends and it was lovely. Nearly perfect in fact.

The afternoon, a big big surprise. The agency from Friday evening phoned to say they had really liked my interview and wanted me back for a second one.

I was shocked, I thought I would get a second one but not to get asked on a Sat! It left me feeling pretty confident, something I havent felt about work for a long time but made my decisions harder.

The rest of the weekend was nice and quiet. Chatting. Game playing. Cuddling. Started a new mosaic together. Cooked dog biscuits, half of which we got ready to send to my best friends puppy. A weekend to enjoy each other, make the most of his birthday weekend and the time alone. I have him from Sunday for a week while he is on his break mid-term but my landlady will be over for the week packing up ready to move. We will make lots of day trips out and have a lot of fun I am sure but I wanted to make the most of the time we had this weekend :).

Once he was gone, done to some serious thinking about the job. Well other stuff too but once I was thinking again, down to the thinking. I was stressing quietly and needed to make my mind up what direction I was going in. Finally, Monday morning it all kind of came clear and I emailed all three jobs withdrawing my application.

A very very wise Lady asked me if I would still think any of these were my dream job in a years time. Honestly, no I couldn't. Even more telling, the commute was not something I could do so I would have had to move. I finally finally came to the conclusion I didnt want to move for a job I didnt really get excited about. If I move, I want to move to somewhere i want to live, not just because of work.

So that was that, leaving me fairly quiet for the rest of the day. I had learnt a lot though, learnt I was better than just grasping a job out of frustration. Learnt I am in demand and am not as trapped as I thought. I can interview well. I have a good CV. Its a good place to be.