Tuesday I met someone from alt for the first time! This was such a big thing for me! Just going out and meeting someone. I am such a total wuss when it comes to meeting people as I am sure I'll go tongue tied and not know what to say, or be a blushing fool or or or. I'd known her for quite awhile saying hi on MSN and we'd talked about meeting up, and we both had that evening free.
When she popped up and asked if I was still free that night I got immediately nervous and that butterflies in the pit of my tummy feeling, but if you don't ever take risks how will you get anywhere? I'd kind of got to the point of if I didn't I'd chicken out and she was a nice girl so I really wanted to put a face to our chats. In the end, meeting for a nice drink, what have you got to lose? Worst case you walk away and had a nice drink and nothing lost except a little embarrassment and maybe thinking over it for awhile. Its really silly to let my shyness and reservations stopping me from having fun.
So I said yes, and we agreed to meet up in London. I was pretty nervous when I got there (lets ignore me coming out of Victoria station and going the wrong way) but I got there on time and walked into the bar. I guess I had wondered if I would recognise her but I did, and I was determined to enjoy myself and get the most out of it. I hope I didn't try too hard, but I had a great time and hope she did too. She was a really nice lady and we chatted about this and that and the other and then went for a curry before saying goodbye. A hug and a little kiss on the lips which I admit totally shocked me as I was not expecting it so I probably stood their like a gormless fool (a look I am good at ;-). I had just the best time and spent most of the journey home chatting to people on the phone and being basically fairly hyper at them.
I came away buzzing (and not just from alcohol) but from doing something I thought I could never or would never do... not only go and meet someone but actually enjoy it and having a great time and come back knowing it was a good time and I felt SO damned proud of myself for going out and meeting up! I was buzzing quietly to myself (but very tiredly as I got in really late) all the next day. Just shows what I can do if I don't stop myself. Saying "yes" is SO much harder than saying no, but SO rewarding. It opens so many possibilities!
When she popped up and asked if I was still free that night I got immediately nervous and that butterflies in the pit of my tummy feeling, but if you don't ever take risks how will you get anywhere? I'd kind of got to the point of if I didn't I'd chicken out and she was a nice girl so I really wanted to put a face to our chats. In the end, meeting for a nice drink, what have you got to lose? Worst case you walk away and had a nice drink and nothing lost except a little embarrassment and maybe thinking over it for awhile. Its really silly to let my shyness and reservations stopping me from having fun.
So I said yes, and we agreed to meet up in London. I was pretty nervous when I got there (lets ignore me coming out of Victoria station and going the wrong way) but I got there on time and walked into the bar. I guess I had wondered if I would recognise her but I did, and I was determined to enjoy myself and get the most out of it. I hope I didn't try too hard, but I had a great time and hope she did too. She was a really nice lady and we chatted about this and that and the other and then went for a curry before saying goodbye. A hug and a little kiss on the lips which I admit totally shocked me as I was not expecting it so I probably stood their like a gormless fool (a look I am good at ;-). I had just the best time and spent most of the journey home chatting to people on the phone and being basically fairly hyper at them.
I came away buzzing (and not just from alcohol) but from doing something I thought I could never or would never do... not only go and meet someone but actually enjoy it and having a great time and come back knowing it was a good time and I felt SO damned proud of myself for going out and meeting up! I was buzzing quietly to myself (but very tiredly as I got in really late) all the next day. Just shows what I can do if I don't stop myself. Saying "yes" is SO much harder than saying no, but SO rewarding. It opens so many possibilities!
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