The weekend was one of those where the boy had plans on Saturday (damn, when your kids have a more active social life than you do!). Orignally the ex was then going to bring him over to me on the Sat night (or I could get him), but its a fairly long drive and it felt too much like pass the parcel just so I could get MY time with him. Silly, and he had a hard week with his fall so I said he could stay with his mum and I would just go over and see him Sunday for a bit and do stuff around there so as not to waste the time.
I got up early (well I was awake, lol, shock) and actually left on time so got there by 9.30. The ex was in an... interesting mood. Well she was pissy as hell to be honest. Mornings were never her strong point and the boy can be quite energetic and she was uptight as she said he had trapped her in her room. I think they were playing and it got out of hand, she doesn't like the feeling of being trapped or people intruding her personal space. Yes, I mean he is only 8 so you can't be too trapped, but it had obvious rattled her. Ignoring my thoughts that she should just grow up and get out of it (yes, I am not a saint, and we have enough history between us for these things to set my teeth on edge, even if we deal with it), so I told him to get dressed and we'd go up the garage to get some cash and coffee's for her and me. That gave her some space to calm down and shower and wake up a little and relax, so she was better when we got back. Its one of the things I dislike about accepting her hospitality of playing with the boy at her house, you feel tied to dealing with these things, but it is more practical in these situations.
The boy went upstairs and played on his PC for a bit. I found a really good kids drawing program for him called Tux Paint and he was really chuffed, as it has loads of stamps for him to play with and add to drawings. He's doing geography and towns and cities at school, so we also played around on google maps to look at where all the people we know lived, in England, Scotland, Ohio, Colorado, Oklahoma, California, Arizona. Finding places and whizzing round the satellite imagery. He thought that pretty cool and I had to drag him away from it to go to the movies.
We went to see Night at the Museum and I have to say thought it was a lot better than I'd expected, definitely a more plot driven film than I expected. Only downside for me was Ricky Gervais. I really really did not like his character... it just grated on me for some reason. We had fun though and the boy came back with new plans to turn his playroom into a museum...
I showed the ex how to make the cheese sauce, which she was pleased with, but unfortunately she managed to get the cutlery drawer stuck and went into a complete tizz about it, working herself up into frustration and towards a panic tantrum. I offered to help but she wouldn't let me, which is fair enough, saying she had to be independent. However she was getting very angry about it and calling herself so stupid and how she'd break it and how could she be so stupid and this is what she got for it, building herself upto boiling point, being unable to think about anything else because of the frustration of this.
So I left. I hate leaving the boy at these times, but I know our past I exasperate it and give her a target... so I left. He went and played in his bedroom out the way til she calmed down.
In the evening she IM'ed me and told me how lonely she was and how all she had in her life was the boy and work. I can understand this, I feel like that sometimes too... well more often than I'd like. She has dated though, goes and visits with a Christian social group, has so many friends she see's in the week, its just weekends that are quieter for her as most of her friends are with their families. I can feel for her, I know how horrible it is... but... do find it a little hard to be more than just listening. She has the boy all week, plus some weekends when he does stuff with her. I have him for 24? 30? hrs a week max and a few holidays away. I think she is thinking about the week he will be away with me and that she'll miss him and will feel lonely and thinking herself into being down (i know how that feels!). In reality it will go so fast she won't even notice it.
I hope she finds what she is looking for, but I don't think she quite appreciates how much she has got. Then again, do we ever? Not sure I do.
I got up early (well I was awake, lol, shock) and actually left on time so got there by 9.30. The ex was in an... interesting mood. Well she was pissy as hell to be honest. Mornings were never her strong point and the boy can be quite energetic and she was uptight as she said he had trapped her in her room. I think they were playing and it got out of hand, she doesn't like the feeling of being trapped or people intruding her personal space. Yes, I mean he is only 8 so you can't be too trapped, but it had obvious rattled her. Ignoring my thoughts that she should just grow up and get out of it (yes, I am not a saint, and we have enough history between us for these things to set my teeth on edge, even if we deal with it), so I told him to get dressed and we'd go up the garage to get some cash and coffee's for her and me. That gave her some space to calm down and shower and wake up a little and relax, so she was better when we got back. Its one of the things I dislike about accepting her hospitality of playing with the boy at her house, you feel tied to dealing with these things, but it is more practical in these situations.
The boy went upstairs and played on his PC for a bit. I found a really good kids drawing program for him called Tux Paint and he was really chuffed, as it has loads of stamps for him to play with and add to drawings. He's doing geography and towns and cities at school, so we also played around on google maps to look at where all the people we know lived, in England, Scotland, Ohio, Colorado, Oklahoma, California, Arizona. Finding places and whizzing round the satellite imagery. He thought that pretty cool and I had to drag him away from it to go to the movies.
We went to see Night at the Museum and I have to say thought it was a lot better than I'd expected, definitely a more plot driven film than I expected. Only downside for me was Ricky Gervais. I really really did not like his character... it just grated on me for some reason. We had fun though and the boy came back with new plans to turn his playroom into a museum...
I showed the ex how to make the cheese sauce, which she was pleased with, but unfortunately she managed to get the cutlery drawer stuck and went into a complete tizz about it, working herself up into frustration and towards a panic tantrum. I offered to help but she wouldn't let me, which is fair enough, saying she had to be independent. However she was getting very angry about it and calling herself so stupid and how she'd break it and how could she be so stupid and this is what she got for it, building herself upto boiling point, being unable to think about anything else because of the frustration of this.
So I left. I hate leaving the boy at these times, but I know our past I exasperate it and give her a target... so I left. He went and played in his bedroom out the way til she calmed down.
In the evening she IM'ed me and told me how lonely she was and how all she had in her life was the boy and work. I can understand this, I feel like that sometimes too... well more often than I'd like. She has dated though, goes and visits with a Christian social group, has so many friends she see's in the week, its just weekends that are quieter for her as most of her friends are with their families. I can feel for her, I know how horrible it is... but... do find it a little hard to be more than just listening. She has the boy all week, plus some weekends when he does stuff with her. I have him for 24? 30? hrs a week max and a few holidays away. I think she is thinking about the week he will be away with me and that she'll miss him and will feel lonely and thinking herself into being down (i know how that feels!). In reality it will go so fast she won't even notice it.
I hope she finds what she is looking for, but I don't think she quite appreciates how much she has got. Then again, do we ever? Not sure I do.
powered by performancing firefox
No comments:
Post a Comment