Colds

At least I know why I was so weary last week and why my skin decided to start playing 3rd world war on my face. The cold has bit in and after a few days with a sore throat I am all sinusy, coughy, achy and all the other delights. No, its not "Man-flu", its just a cold and annoying it is too. I hope it doesnt hang around same as last time and eat away at my energy for ages.

The thing I dislike most, and its something I have recognised this time and not before, is how it effects me mentally. Apart from the lack of energy and apathy, I get very uptight, very nervy, very uncomfortable and a little frantic without knowing why. I worry over things terribly and things blow out of proportion. Things I would just take in my stride suddenly seem unsummountable. I feel kind of needy and clingy which I dislike intensely as I feel I am bothering people.

Today was an example, my ex phoned up in tears as she thought something had happened to her dad. It turned out to be a miscommunication from her sister panicking her. There is also an ongoing situation regarding a friend doing something which isn't my problem but involves me. I feel pressured and not sure how to handle the situation as it involves standing upto them, something which is hard when I feel so out of sorts, so I am kind of ignoring it for a few days while I go on a course. I want to write so much more, but my lack of energy makes it frustrating the words won't come out.

On the brighter side, I recognise where these feelings are coming from for once and refuse to let them set me off into a cycle of depression. I won't I won't I won't I tell you.