That was fun...

...Oh no it wasn't... Oh yes it was!

Last night we went to the panto (oh no we didn't, oh yes we did... ok, I promise... thats the last time I will do that. There is something about Christmas-time that turns normally mild-mannered english-people into grinning fools who have to resort to responding to everything with the traditional panto audience shout out lines). My ex had won tickets from the local shopping mall so, despite the fact I'm down in Bournemouth with my boy at my parents for new year and she is all the way back in Farnborough, I said that was cool and I'd bring him back for the evening so we could all go. My Mum said she'd come too so it was nice, getting together as a family for the boy. I think I'm kind of glad I didn't think through about just how far it was though and just said yes.

We got there a little early as I wanted to make sure we didn't get caught in traffic as the weather started to get really bad (the afore mentioned rain and wind). This was really good though as the ex could show off how busy she had been sorting through the boys toys. You know how it is... She's been in that house just over a year. When she moved in it was the final "we aren't getting back together again" as we'd sold our old house and used the proceeds to buy her a house so her and the boy could start again with their own home. So things were just shoved into the small box/playroom and slowly got worse while she concentrated on the downstairs. With a little encouragement, and the little push that the boy now needed somewhere to setup the PC I bought him for Christmas, she decided to move stuff around upstairs and sort things through to give the small bedroom to the boy as his "sleeping" room (doubling up as a guest room if anyone came to stay), whereas his big room with the cabin bed (which he doesn't really use) would be the play room. If I ever stay over he can sleep up in that and I won't kill myself by treading on his toys when I get out of bed blindly in the morning ;-). It also means the PC is in a different room to his sleeping in, so when its time to STOP playing and go to bed, he will really go to bed.

I'm really pleased she decided to (let's ignore this was how I suggested she lay it out in the first place... I know it was hard for her when she moved in and it was important she make her own decisions). I'm kind of glad though that she felt she could ask my opinion when she decided to do this, knowing I'm not the type to do an "i told you so". It's good though as it kept her busy while I had the boy for the last few days so she didn't dwell on it. I have to do this every week so I know how empty the house feels when he's gone. Keeping busy is the best way past it.

She had done well and the little room was mostly clear and as we got there early she asked if I minded moving the wardrobe and his bed into the room then so she could get it all finished off before we got back on Monday. I took the bed apart and moved it over and the boy was really pleased, as well as amazed how big his playroom looked. He was plotting where he is going to put the computer desk on Monday when he goes back and I help him put it together. Its going to look really good and I know when she see's it all complete the ex will feel so proud of her house and be proud when his friends come over to play - that will do her a lot of good and the more her self-confidence is boosted, the happier she is.

I've always been a little well, dubious, about things like panto's. My natural shyness comes out and all the shouting and audience joining in I found uncomfortable. So I got there with that "grin and bare it" mentality. One of the so positive things about being on my own is you have to just do things, you have no one to hide behind. The ex (being so outgoing and talkative) both took away opportunities for me to stand out and also gave me excuses not to try. I know towards the end I just felt like "her husband" rather than "me". This last year has been very much about discovering who "me" is. I quickly got over that strange feeling of sitting next to her again, with her being so vocal and loud (its easy to slip into old patterns) and watched the boy and settled into being "me". I clapped and shouted back the traditional responses... Did "heads, shoulders knee's and toes" with the rest of the audience (and I have to say we were robbed, the boys and Dad's were DEFINITELY louder than the girls) and thoroughly enjoyed it both for watching the boys reaction and because, I just enjoyed it.

English panto is a very special thing. Very self-aware, very participative, full of little quirks of knowing innuendo, just a wonderful thing to behold. Think of Rocky Horror but for children (yes... I know so of course I should love panto when I stopped being so prissy and uptight, considering how much I love Rocky on stage). Unlike a lot of panto's which rely on big names, this was a small production of Beauty and the Beast (done panto style). The cast were excellent, all had amazing singing voices... better than many musical's I've been to. They were funny as hell, egging the audience on, shouting back and dragging them into the show with the laughed comments of "you know whats coming next" and "hang on, i've not got there yet, don't say my lines or I'll have nothing to do". They so obviously enjoyed it as much as we did being part of it. Pity the poor guy that the "evil ugly witch" picked on at the beginning, asking his name and then spent the rest of the panto blowing kisses at and cooing at him by name. The "ugly sister" a big black guy suitably hammed it up in drag, the good fairy suitably yummy, the bad villian suitably dashing and evil. All the proper ingrediants for a family panto.

I nearly choked laughing when the "good fairy" (with her long blonde flowing hair) flounced back onto stage dressed as a french maid with fishnet stockings and heels. Before she even managed to say "hello Mums and boys and girls, and Helloooooooooooo Dads" both Mum and the ex had given me one of "those" looks. I must be so obvious :P. Of course neither of them know whether I was looking at the girl or just purring at the outfit. Hey, its nice to admire it from more than one line of thought ;-).

It was great though and despite the terrifying drive home, and the aches and pains today from gripping so hard to keep the car on the road... It was a wonderful evening. Next year they are doing "The Wizard of Oz" panto style so you bet your ass I'll be there as I SOOOOO love that story. I'll resist and leave my ruby slippers at home though ;-).

That only leaves one thing for me... a wistful longing to see Rocky Horror again. Anyone wanting to go see it up in London before it moves off?

160 mile round trip in the pouring rain and horrible winds to go see a panto? "Petrol, £20. Drinks and sweets, £5. Deoderant needed from sheer fear of the drive, £2.50. The chance to scream out like a little kid at the cast and watch a little boys face while he did the same? Priceless".