Sleeping

I took the valerian about half hour before bed. It's one of the main ingrediant in Kalms, which I've taken before so I've taken it before. After watching X Factor and the beginning of the Take That audience (hey, I'm the right age.. I was curious, thats all it was, honest) I snuggled down to sleep just before 10pm. Annoyingly but unsurprisingly I woke up about 2.30am as has been normal this week. The rest of the night was very on/off as it has been, mostly just lying in bed really NOT feeling tired. I don't know if its the placebo effect or if it was the herb but I was feeling slightly slow and my thoughts didn't go round and round so much. A little detached and distant so the time seemed to go quicker. I lay in bed enjoying the feel of the warmth of the duvet and the feel of the sheets and just thought about Mistress a lot to be honest, how much she meant to me, what she has said to me, the things I have learnt from her, the things I treasure, the reassurance and the trust I have in her - especially in those times when I feel bad about myself or feel I have nothing to offer anyone or could be no interest. I know how she see's me and I trust it... and I let myself dwell on those in my slightly slow state. Things didnt seem to get to me so much and I found myself idly thinking of her touch, her caress in my hair, her fingers running over my skin, her fingers inside me. Just her delight in me. Luxuriating in that and how my body reacted to those thoughts. Towards early morning... yes there were a few little bad thoughts but they couldn't linger with that in my mind. I couldn't get myself out of bed til about 8am, even though I wasn't sleeping... it was just nice being in the warm and having nothing to do. Today felt a little weird, still that same detachedness and slowness of thinking. I don't know if it was the herb or just my tiredness slowly taking its toll. It didn't feel a bad thing though, not if it took the edge off and stopped me going round in circles.