Blog hell...

Does anyone else ever start these things and either not know what to write or not know how to stop?

I seem to have had written diah-wotsit tonight. So many words going round in my head. Its like this a lot on Sunday's. I have my boy for the weekend, give him back to his mum and have the drive home when so much goes round in my head. Talking to myself (emmm that sounds bad) but that spins round and round. If I could tape that conversation my blog would never end.

Most days I am too tired to write after work, but I should.. get it out. Most Sunday's I am weary after the drive, come into the now so quiet house and apathy hits. Today I wanted to write though. Made myself write it down and get it out my head... and I feel better for it. Maybe not exactly a productive 4 hrs but my mind feels alert, relaxed, useful, thoughtful. Not a bad way to end a weekend.

Now my only worry was where do I put this? God there are so many journals. I've signed upto many of them just to see how they worked. Some to comment on friends. Originally I had thought to maybe split them, one for my nilla thoughts, work, friends, family, social stuff. One for more tangental, kinkier, sexual, darker, other stuff. Now I think I really can't be assed to make a distinction and don't think I want to. Grrrrrr I don't want to compartmentalise my life. You can see this bit, they can see that. God thats why I go nuts anyway. Its me. The me that has dark dreams and depressions is the same me that has the mushy thoughts, that gets pissed off at work, that wants to go postal, that goes quiet, that causes trouble, that likes to write kinky fantasies just coz. Its all me. One influences the other. So for now its all here. So sorry those linked on yahoo and all the others. For now its one place. Til technology makes me want to publish somewhere else, apathy stops me writing or I scare off too many friends by being a horny kinky little sod...