I'm starting to feel slightly flustered? anxious? out of my depth? or maybe just spread thin as suddenly lots seems to be happening in many directions.
I was laying in bed thinking last night about my previous post of the things I want to change and exploring it in my head, looking at the feelings that have started creeping in with people I am talking to and why I start to get twitchy and panicky. I know I'm rethinking my conversations more than I was, picking out all the light and inconsequential things and thinking how uninteresting they must seem to others. I've really got to get a handle on this and let things go.
Its silly... because things are actually picking up so much. I have the trip to the USA in three weeks to meet some wonderful people and experience some wonderful things. I have the concert Thurs and chance to meet up with a good friend again. We've organised to go see the musical Chicago with another sub friend in August. Talking about meeting up with another new good friend sometime when both our nerves and schedules allow, and I'd really love to get chance to say hi to her in the flesh. Someone else from IC that's said they would like to meet up and go walking with me in the area which would be good. Other new people slowly making impact in my life. So many things in so many directions all at once, its kind of overwhelming. I love it, but it makes me feel nervous and edgy. I don't want it to stop. I don't want any of these opportunities to back off, hell no... I want them to happen now... but it still makes me edgy. A weird craving and recoiling a the same time thing.
Only one way to deal with it... thats to push forward and make it work. Get past the nerves and make all these things just feel good and a normal part of my life.
I was laying in bed thinking last night about my previous post of the things I want to change and exploring it in my head, looking at the feelings that have started creeping in with people I am talking to and why I start to get twitchy and panicky. I know I'm rethinking my conversations more than I was, picking out all the light and inconsequential things and thinking how uninteresting they must seem to others. I've really got to get a handle on this and let things go.
Its silly... because things are actually picking up so much. I have the trip to the USA in three weeks to meet some wonderful people and experience some wonderful things. I have the concert Thurs and chance to meet up with a good friend again. We've organised to go see the musical Chicago with another sub friend in August. Talking about meeting up with another new good friend sometime when both our nerves and schedules allow, and I'd really love to get chance to say hi to her in the flesh. Someone else from IC that's said they would like to meet up and go walking with me in the area which would be good. Other new people slowly making impact in my life. So many things in so many directions all at once, its kind of overwhelming. I love it, but it makes me feel nervous and edgy. I don't want it to stop. I don't want any of these opportunities to back off, hell no... I want them to happen now... but it still makes me edgy. A weird craving and recoiling a the same time thing.
Only one way to deal with it... thats to push forward and make it work. Get past the nerves and make all these things just feel good and a normal part of my life.
1 comment:
don't be hard on yourself, even good stress is stress...
That said of course you are still going :)
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