I've never really been good at asking for things, asking for things I would like, or for things I would like to happen.
I've always been relucant to push myself forward, or put my needs above others. I've also always very much responded to others desires as that really does give me a lot of pleasure.
It's also felt very, odd, the thought of asking my Owner for things. I guess I've also been worried about topping from the bottom, pushing for things my way.
Recently though I've started to get more comfortable asking for things. I think my attitude towards it has changed. Now if I ask, I know I am not being pushy, I am not critisicising or prompting her for things, I am not in anyway trying to lead. I am showing her, just as with my blogs, whats in my head, what my desires are, what my little tarty self is thinking then and what I desire. I'm placing those desires at her feet and letting her decide. If she says yes, thats lovely. If she says no, thats wonderful too as she has been given the chance to decide. In a way not asking I was denying her the decision.
The over thing I've discovered recently is the effect is still very very different if I've asked or she has just told me I will do something. For instance, last night I slept badly so I was feeling a little eh this morning and very tired. So, I asked if I could wear one of the nice pairs of panties I bought at the weekend. She said yes and that was lovely and gave me a little kickstart and makes me feel nice and sexy, as well as the delight of her giving me permission. However, if she one morning just told me "today pet, put on..." that is so so different. It puts me in my place, has that little edge of humiliation and makes me think about it all the time and think of her.
Maybe, maybe too I was a little scared that asking would take that away and make it too much about me. Its pretty cool it just works.
I've always been relucant to push myself forward, or put my needs above others. I've also always very much responded to others desires as that really does give me a lot of pleasure.
It's also felt very, odd, the thought of asking my Owner for things. I guess I've also been worried about topping from the bottom, pushing for things my way.
Recently though I've started to get more comfortable asking for things. I think my attitude towards it has changed. Now if I ask, I know I am not being pushy, I am not critisicising or prompting her for things, I am not in anyway trying to lead. I am showing her, just as with my blogs, whats in my head, what my desires are, what my little tarty self is thinking then and what I desire. I'm placing those desires at her feet and letting her decide. If she says yes, thats lovely. If she says no, thats wonderful too as she has been given the chance to decide. In a way not asking I was denying her the decision.
The over thing I've discovered recently is the effect is still very very different if I've asked or she has just told me I will do something. For instance, last night I slept badly so I was feeling a little eh this morning and very tired. So, I asked if I could wear one of the nice pairs of panties I bought at the weekend. She said yes and that was lovely and gave me a little kickstart and makes me feel nice and sexy, as well as the delight of her giving me permission. However, if she one morning just told me "today pet, put on..." that is so so different. It puts me in my place, has that little edge of humiliation and makes me think about it all the time and think of her.
Maybe, maybe too I was a little scared that asking would take that away and make it too much about me. Its pretty cool it just works.
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