Love

Sometimes it can be pretty hard to be in-love with someone that "just" loves you back.

"Just"

"Just"

"Just"

thats such a bad way of thnking about it. They don't "just" love you. It's not a diminutive thing. They love you with the full force that their heart, mind, soul and body can love you. It's a beautiful thing. They give you what they have to give you, just as you try to give them. It's not easy... but accepting what others have to give rather than concentrating on what they can't is so much more rewarding. It's not personal against you. We don't chose how our feelings develop, but we can take responsibility for them.

I do worry, I worry a lot. I know when I fall I fall deeply, completely, so I don't want to appear obsessive, opressive, needy, pushing someone. I am a realist, I know situations and despite annoying emotional ups and downs I do want to get the best out of situations, I do want to enjoy someone as they are, as my friend and enjoy the love they have for me, and not let other things spoil it.

I want also for them to enjoy the fact that someone can love them that way, for it to encourage them, make them feel good about themselves and the possibilities for their future. I never want it to be a burden on them. For them to have to make allowances or "handle" me.

Of course sometimes it just freaking drives my head nuts, but being honest but time makes everything easier and I know as things dredge up buried feelings, they can and will settling in their rightful place again... and I have done this before and can do it again, and its worth it. In time, slowly feelings change and soften and one day you wonder why ever you had that problem. You still have your friend though.

Of course if I stop forgetting my pill and taking it at the wrong time, that'd help too...