Today I am tired. Well hell I didn't get to bed til 1.30 in the end. It had nothing to do with the vodka and oranges, honest. Possibly a little hyper-ness and unwinding had something to do with it. So after the trek home unwound, got trounced at scrabble, wrote and finally curled up in bed far too late.
I can feel lurking in the corner of my mind all those little doubts that come out when I am tired, wanting to think about yesterday, start analysing it and finding ways to crisicise myself. Poking at it. Oh you sounded stupid saying that, oh that must make you sound a nerd, oh... well you know the sort of thing. I won't though. I'm not going to let it. I know I am tired and after such a high for the last day I'd normally end up crashing down when something gets to me. Start looking at the future and then panic as I realise how far there is to go and how I don't know how to get there. Not going to let that happen now. Not going to fuss at it, just going to say it was a good time and move on. I know what I do and am going to stop it.
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