Wheeeeeeeee I am catching up. It's nice to get some of the words out. Last week I went off to meet a friend for the first time from online. He's just bought his first house so I went round to see it and buy pizza (mmmmm pizza... life is always good with pizza). I had a great time, hope he did too!! It was great to put a face and voice to a name and see all the differences between how people come across online and in the flesh. Not different in bad ways, just the way they flesh out into a full complete person. Made me look forward to meeting other friends in July even more. Absolutely smashing guy though, funny and very warm and glad to have him as a friend.
It was also an interesting experience for me. First time I've met someone off online since last February and my Scottish friend. First time I've met a guy off online since about 1995!!! I have no idea how I came across and honestly, I don't want to know!!!! What was important for me though was how differently I felt. When I've met people before i've always been very nervous and anxious and have started getting uptight and looking for excuses upto a week before. I've got tense, uptight, butterflies, panicky, heart beating too fast, dry mouthed, stuttery. That's how I've always been. It felt so different this time though. I just looked forward to it in the week. I didn't think about it too much. I didn't over analyse or overthink or worry about it. I didn't panic over silly things like the how to get there. I had a few minor butterflies but I just went and had a good time. Afterwards I didn't review all the conversations and think "god that sounded stupid". I just enjoyed it and came away smiling. It felt so different and so good. I think it was the most visible sign for me what difference the anti-depressants have made. Not that they make me happier... Just that they give me space to live in the moment more and not get so worked up.
Oh and I agree with him totally. Those clamps are a bitch!!
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