Visitations

I was a bit nervous this time of my landlady coming back for her six monthly visit for medical checks. She brought her bf and her mum back for the trip. In a two bedroom bungalow thats suddenly a lot of people! I am really not that used to having people around in "my" space and I know I was more than a bit uptight about it the last week or so.

I did my normal rushing round trying to get the house tidy and the back garden presentable. I wasn't quite as manic as previous times. Quite as insistent on it being perfect. I got to the point where I thought this is my home, if not my house, and if it's tidy and clean and I am happy to live here then thats enough. I didn't move the boys toys, just stacked them neatly. I didn't re-arrange things from how was convenient for me. I didn't disrupt how I live in the house just for the week. That was a good thing I think and I relaxed a bit more when I had come to that decision mid-week last week.

Probably quite a big thing for me actually despite being such a small thought. Not doing things to please someone at the cost of myself. Something I still struggle with the balance of. The house was tidy though and midweek this week my landlady actually said to me thankyou for it being so tidy, she appreciated it. This was probably the first time I've heard her say thanks like that... and it was lovely. I know she thinks it, but it is rare for her to be so unguarded as to say something. The evenings have been different but nice. A little time chatting when I come in from work, having a coffee with her and sometimes her bf too. Retire to my room for an hour or two to unwind and get some space on my own, just sitting quietly. Then dinner with her bf as her and her mum probably ate earlier. Then some more time just chatting, doing things like trying to get her new phone sorted out til its coming upto my bedtime. Then off to bed to again to relax on my own, before sleep. Quite a good balance of sociableness but not giving up my own space. More balanced.

I thought this was going to be a really bad trip. So many people. I thought she would be irritable and picky because of having so many people underfoot. I knew she was dreading the trip. Instead, despite her saying she is hating it and its been her worst trip back.... She has seemed her happiest in a long long time. Huggy. Silly. Chatty. Flirty. I was trying to work out why. Maybe talking with me is something new and outside the people she see's day in day out. Maybe its because this time she is feeling well again whereas the last two she has been pretty poorly and stressed. Maybe its because with a full household she is tied down and can't do her normal rushing round and trying to be everywhere and do everything. She has had to sit and stop and thats made her less rushed and driven. I don't know, but I know I like this version of her and it's been a pleasure having her here. Now can I have my house back *grins and winks cheekily*.