Public Geekery

Last night I went to an OpenSource user group up in London (don't worry if you don't know what that means, assume its technicaly geekery of an extreme manner and you are not far off). Yes, a bunch of geeks meeting to voluntarily listen to more geekery after work in their own time just because its itneresting. It's the first time I've been and I came VERY close to finding excuses to not go or chicken out at the last moment, but I went in anyway. I find groups really hard, especially groups of strangers but knowing we were all there because we were interested made it a bit easier.... especially as it wasn't just a chatting thing but to listen to someone give a presentation on something I found pretty interesting. Wine and beer was supplied before, with a very nice hot meal after. The presentation was great and by the general cohesiveness of geeks other people on their own kind of gravitated together and said hi and then started talking about things often half-incomprehensible to me (since I am a SysAdmin, not a developer). In that situation though, being quiet and listening wasn't QUITE as uncomfortable as it is elsewhere as it was actually interesting... and when things moved to more my area then I could express opinions. So it wasn't easy but I had fun and it was definitely worth the late night after all the travel and I am glad I did it.

It felt easier than going to the BDSM markets.... I've been trying to think why. Maybe its because of the presentation, so we had something to discuss "so what did you think of.... do you use....". Maybe its because as geeks we are all interested in the same thing (albeit some as programmers some as admins) whereas BDSM events cater for a wide range of tastes and interests so even then their may not be commonality (if you are a pup and not a physical player... then discussions of which cane to use may not really be you, whereas discussions about feelings or reactions are). Maybe its because in a BDSM event I am still somewhat insecure and wondering how I am coming across, what people think of me, am I just coming across as a wannabee... or do I even know what I want? Whereas in technical things I am a lot more confident (though I still consciously often think I don't know anything, I just seem to get on with it when I have to). Maybe its because technology is a great leveller so you are just you... and there is not the thought of am I stepping on someones toes/relationship/protocols if I talk that way with XXX. I know in one place I've been, whenever I'm cheeky or smartassed or so to a friend there are comments that I should say sorry or she shouldn't allow it, etc, because she comes across as assertive so assumptions are made... and that makes it harder to just be myself.

Maybe it's just because all that network talk makes me horny

I don't know, but it was quite good fun and I am really glad I was brave enough to go! I just resorted to that age-old geek male posturing of "my server is bigger than your server"... though as a friend pointed out, in the end its not how big your server is that counts, its what you do with it!