Goals

I made a comment to a very dear friend today that I was feeling somewhat aimless and wondering where life was going. Like it wasn't really going anywhere. She, in her usual practical way said "well set some goals then". I can't really argue with her, heh, her bluntness is rather unarguable especially as she is always right. She showed me a goal list a friend of hers had written, of things to achieve in the next year. So we agreed, between us, that we would both make a list of things we wanted to do by next March.

It has to be fun things, things we want to do but havent done or have held back from. Fun things, not "i'll get fit" but things which we want to have done, experienced, learnt, seen... things that maybe changes in our lives will help us achieve... so the ends not the means.

I find this terrifying as its instantly made me feel fearful, so hence this blog, to examine why. Its a good thing, to address these.

I am scared of what I want sounding stupid, of it showing up how stupid I am, or how little I have done in life that people take for granted, how my upbringing was stunted and cossetted and sheltered. Showing how little I know and can do.

I am scared of change, but mainly because I am scared of failure. Of not being able to do things.

So that's there. A big fear of failure so fearing wanting goals. ime to start dreaming a little Alan...